Sarah or Tare. It was such a hard decision. I knew if I spurned Tare, Victoria would kill me for breaking her sister’s heart. She’d probably succeed. No one had underestimated Victoria Winsler and lived to tell the tale.
Sarah was so kind and caring. She made me think I could actually have a normal life. Tare, on the other hand had been my friend for years. We’d saved each other’s lives countless times. I always knew I could count on her to have my back.
Really it was a toss between the lives I wanted. I couldn’t be a contract killer and stay with Sarah. She wouldn’t be able to deal with all the violence and I would be putting her in harm’s way. Tare couldn’t handle a normal life. She was a warrior and hooked on the adrenaline rush. She was incapable of adjusting like Victoria had and I knew it. She would get too restless and eventually snap or would get a mundane job which would kill her spirit.
Ultimately it was a question of who I loved the most. Deep in my heart I knew it was Tare. I loved the idea of having a normal life and I knew Sarah could give me that but I didn’t love her. I would just be condemning myself to a live of what ifs. I had been with the CIA nearly all my life and I wasn’t going to stop being a killer now. Victoria was right. It wasn’t like you could switch a button. I’d been trained as an operative and I couldn’t just stop being one.
Being with Tare would make me happier than Sarah ever would. Tare knew that. I guess that’s why she’d been warning me away from Sarah. I’d been trying to change for her. Restraining myself nearly got ourselves killed by the CIA. I would get us all killed if I kept Sarah with me. She deserved a normal life where people weren’t trying to kill her because of her association with me.
Tare would be ecstatic when I told her. She’d never been discreet about her hatred towards Sarah but she always protected her. If you were an operative then there generally was two things you needed in a partner. One was for them to be an operative too. Civilians never understood our lifestyle and the reasons why we risked our lives. Two was for them to have a heart. Being in the business of death took its toll in the worst way. It could turn the most caring person in the world to an emotionless killer. One was easy but two was not. Tare was both. A rarity.